Happy couple!

//Happy couple!

Happy couple!

I have  just been invited out for lunch with a lovely couple who wanted to thank me for putting them together.  It makes the job so worthwhile fixing people up knowing they have found happiness in a relationship.  Both clients were widowed and alone, and although they both had a full live with family and friends, wanted to share that extra special time with each other.

Most people who have suffered the loss of a partner will find it hard to move on and feel disloyal to their former partner.  They may feel a mixture of feelings of guilt and worry towards  family around them who may judge.  If and when you decide to start dating again, you need to understand that it is possible to be happy in a new relationship even though you are still having thoughts and feelings for your deceased spouse. Expect the relationship to be different. Your relationship with your spouse was unique. It cannot be replicated. Open yourself to the uniqueness of the new person in your life. Remember that loving and grieving can happen at the same time. Your guilt will lessen in time. Keep in mind that when you are in a new relationship, friends and family members will offer their opinions (often unwanted) as to whether you should or should not continue in the relationship. This is your life and your relationship. Do what is most comfortable for you.